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Monday, May 11, 2009

The Environwhackos Next Exploit: War On The Bathroom

About a year ago there were stories that broke about how toilet paper was an evil that we had to be rid of. Sheryl Crow, singer and environwhacko even suggested limiting yourself to one square per usage. Remind me never to shake her hand.

(Don't believe me about Crow, here is the story: Sheryl Crow Says To Limit TP Usage)

Last month they staged a national Pee Outside Day. Here are the details: National Pee Outside Day, April 19th

To me it is obvious, the next exploit of these whackos is to go to war against the bathroom. It is intolerable to me. I could stand it (barely) when they insisted we recycle certain items. I could even tolerate (barely) when family members started to forward to me stupid "save the whale" emails. But you mess with a man's toilet paper, and, well, everyone has a breaking point.

I say not less but more toilet paper. I don't care if it is made of recycled materials or not. If it is on the roll, and I need it, I will take as much as I need. And yes, I prefer the super-soft, 4 ply kind over the cheaper, sandpaper-like, 2 ply kind.

So once again I am a bad steward because I enjoy one of life's simple pleasures: comfort in the commode. So sue me.

Oh, and if you practice what Sheryl Crow preaches then please wash your hands thoroughly. It will be the best waste of water in the history of mankind.

2 comments:

Writer X said...

I don't think they'll stop until we're living like cavemen again. Of course, Sheryl Crow has no plans to live like a cavewoman; she just thinks the rest of us should.

nanc said...

i lovingly refer to her as "one-square crow". yeah, that was me.

THEY'RE NUTZ I TELL YOU!