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Friday, July 24, 2009

My Very Own Conspiracy Theory

As far as conspiracy theories go, I am not that big on them. I believe we really went to the moon, and I really believe that 9/11 was perpetrated by Muslim terrorists. One of the only conspiracy theories I believe is that Oswald did not act alone.

However, I have always suspected a conspiracy by the left-wing, liberal, environwhackos. First, here is a link to a series of articles about the latest outbreak of illness on a cruise ship:

Google List Of Related Articles

So here is my conspiracy theory: left-wing, liberal, environwhackos book passage on cruise ships and purposely release viruses to make the passengers sick.

Of course, the first question you probably have is: why would they do this? The answer is simple and I think you'll see why I logically theorize the way I do. Environwhackos have had it out for cruise ships for a long time. Don't believe me? Check out this quick google search on the topic:

Google Search On Environwhackos And There Feelings On Cruise Ships

Truth be told, they hate cruise ships. I am surprised they haven't resorted to Whale Wars type tactics against cruise ships. The only thing stopping them is the potential PR nightmare if they were to kill a bunch of cruise passengers. But I am sure the thought has crossed their feeble, minuscule minds.

So knowing they haven't waged all out war on cruise ships, it is only logical to think that they have resorted to stealth type tactics. Clandestine operations if you will. The goal? Scare people from spending big money on cruises and, hopefully, forcing the cruise industry out of business.

I remember watching all of the cruise ships when we were in St. Thomas a few years ago. If I were an environwhacko I could see myself becoming concerned with all of the fuel and emissions those ships use and produce. I could see myself worrying about the dumping of garbage and sewage. I could see myself becoming upset at the thought of the wanton consumption that occurs on those ships. Luckily, I am a freedom loving, right thinking person and those cruise ships actually gave me a sense of pride. Pride in what our economy has produced and the luxury it has afforded so many.

But if I were an environwhacko, I could see myself scheming to book passage on a cruise ship, smuggling in some nasty virus that could make the passengers ill, and releasing that into a buffet or dining area. Then sitting back and watching the carnage. I truly believe this is what is occurring on cruise ships. There are just too many illnesses occurring on cruises. No way did this problem so suddenly rear its ugly head a few years ago, and become as common as quickly as it has.

So that is my conspiracy theory. I know, I know, most of you are thinking "no way are environwhacko morons smart enough to hatch such a plot". It is true they usually stick to idiotic tactics like banging pots and pans in the woods to disrupt hunters. Or throwing paint on fur-wearing rich women. Or burning Hummers on dealer lots. (I never understood that one, seems to me that nothing could be worse for the environment than a burning Hummer!) Or setting fire to labs were experiments are performed on animals (burning the animals to their painful deaths in the process). But all it takes is one evil genius mind to get the stupid lemming masses lined up for such a thing. Surely amongst the masses of stupid environwhackos there are a couple that can actually do higher math.

So there it is. Please leave a comment and tell me what you think of my theory.


Writer X said...

When you look at some of their other extreme tactics, it's not inconceivable to think this could happen. I hate to think that there are people who would go to such extremes but believing that it couldn't happen would be kind of naive. It's also one more reason why I don't do cruise ships, the first reason being that I get claustrophobic. Interesting post, LoneWolf!!

AndrewPrice said...

Cruise ships are evil. . . because I'm not on one.

Actually, I agree with you. If groups like ELF will burn down developments, why not target a big, easy target like a cruise ship. A little fear would probably kill off the industry in short order.

4simpsons said...

Interesting theory. I wouldn't put it past them. They certainly have a non-traditional view of life and humanity.

Mom's Fortress of Solitude said...

So much for that cruise to the Bahamas! lol

Interesting perspective, but I see they already have you under their control, as you believe the latest Google list of related articles.

These are just a sinister decoy to the events that are really taking place, right under our noses.

MUUUaaaahaa haaa!

*Please note the sarcasm. I have no clue what I'm talking about here.* LOL